Let’s Talk About Infidelity

Cheaters never win.

My Ex-Fiance admitted to cheating on my roughly 37 times. He started cheating at about year 4, and it just became a habit for him. In year 5 — I proposed an open relationship with open communication and all that comes with it. His exact words were “I don’t want to do that. I want to be with you and for you to be with me. Only” So we went on for another 4 years with him having about 20 more situationships behind my back, while I thought he was working nights and long hours on the weekends.

He of course, blamed me for his cheating. He claimed that I never gave him enough love, affection and attention. That he felt unwanted so he stepped out. He blamed me every time. Now after a year of therapy twice a week and without him, I realize that it’s not my fault he cheated on me. It’s not my fault he felt unwanted. He is in charge of his own self-esteem and happiness not me. However, why would I want, cherish and love someone I know is fucking other women and then coming home to me? How is this my fault? It’s not. It never was.

Why do people cheat?

I don’t know the answer to this. Mommy issues? Daddy issues? Examples of bad relationships? Crippling insecurities? All of the above.

There is also why my Ex cheated, he needed constant gratification through sexual experiences, which I couldn’t give him because his infidelity caused me to hate him. This all makes sense. But it has also caused a serious lack of trust in insecure men. Rebound…