I come from the traditional middle class, strict-overbearing parent, small town, private school background. How does that make me interesting? It doesn’t. Sunny California has always and will always be my home. Unless I pack up and move to Hawaii on a whim.
I started writing for small publications in the early 2010’s right after high school and well into college. But because of my anonymity, I won’t be posting them. I used to write fantasy in high school because my life was SO BORING. That later turned into informational journalism and now I write about my life, which isn’t boring anymore.
As many of my readers have read before, I was in a toxic, self-serving (for him) relationship that left me in pieces when he left me a month before our wedding date. My parents dished out over 40k dollars since I am the only girl in my family and he left to run off with his new subordinate at work. That didn’t last long if we’re being honest here.
Here is it, here is when I started really writing here. My therapist suggested I document everything, and why not document all of my feelings publicly. It was daunting, but as I kept writing and getting responses from well-hearted strangers I realized my therapist was right. This is how I will heal.
I started over at 29. My ex-fiance and I had been together since right after high school (roughly 11 years or so with 10 of consistent dating) so I never dated. I just know that I know how I want to be treated coming out of long term gaslighting and emotional abuse and I know that it’s possible to get what I want because all of my friends have good, well-meaning, non-abusive husbands.
So here I am, telling stories of the many first dates, the many emotionally unstable people I come into contact with and how I am taking time to myself and find myself in between. When you are in a relationship, you become one with that person and if the relationship bug catches you young enough — becoming one with someone means your personalities become one as well.
I had no idea who I was without him and It has taken me almost a year to figure it out. During that year, I’ve documented all of the wins, woes, almost loves, men I’ve put up with and names I’ve been called.
It’s a beautiful life.