I Don’t Have Kids, but He Does

Normally I wouldn’t date a man with kids. I rejoice when a man says “no, I’m single, stable, and have no children.” But not this time.

The truth is, I love kids. I want kids. I just always wanted kids of my own. I have always told myself that a man with kids is a deal-breaker. But why? I have my own selfish reasons, but as I get older, more cynical and less selfish — those reasons change.

I no longer see a child as a deal-breaker. In fact, dads are kind of hot. Dads that are around their kids at least. The ones who aren’t like my dad. This may come as a shock to all of my friends and family, but I’ve been seeing this guy who has an 8 year old for the last few weeks.

I thought about my cousin, my cousin is a single mom with a 10 year old and a 4 year old. Why would I want her to be alone because kids is someone’s deal breaker. My fears lied in the mother of the children. That child will never be mine, but I can still love him, much like my step-dad still loved me.

He’s tall, tatted and talkative. 3 things I love. I don’t talk much, because I get it all out at the end of the day when I write and he talks, while he talks he laughs. His hazel eyes glisten in the soft light of my dimly lit apartment and I sip my tequila while he tells me about his sons halloween costume ideas. I realized I wasn’t turned off, I admired…