How Working For A Church Changed My View On Christianity

I went into working for a church as a faithful Christian, and I’m leaving as a non-believer.

At one point I would cry when I worshipped.

I thought doing ministry and working for the cause of Jesus himself would light a fire in me that no one else could. I left my cushy corporate job to do corporate adjacent job duties for a medium sized church in a very large area.

The First Day

My first day sent me into shock. I was in disbelief when the people of this (liberal, gay affirming) church staff didn’t welcome me with open arms. I knew almost immediately it would be a mistake. At the time, ex-soon-to-be-husband and I were going through our very painful break-up, and I was in no place emotionally to be holding any other feelings other than joy.

The first comment made to me as I walked into the staff room was “Oh! I thought you were white.” It was said with a giggle and then met with “You just have…your name is…well. It’s not a common name for a black girl!” I looked at her with the straightest face and walked right past her before she complimented my skin tone and I asked her to stop talking about my race.

There was a staff meeting this day and everyone was coming in to welcome the new girl…