How I Re-Introduced Myself to Myself

When you start a relationship at the ripe age of 19 and then stay in it for the next 10 years, you lose yourself.

I became one with my partner instead of one with myself, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing — but once my partner left, I had no idea who I was. I was completely lost and barely knew what I liked. From the food I ate to the way I worked out it was all things my partner liked to do. I found myself saying my favorite hobbies and places were really things he liked to do. In reality, I didn’t like the brewery, I like the wine bar. I felt so unbelievably out of tune with myself, that I didn’t even know what I liked to do in my free time because my free time was spent with him.

My therapist told me to take myself on a date, so I did and this is what I did:

Showered

Washed and styled my curls

Did a barely there makeup look

Put on my favorite outfit — this was hard, because again, I liked things he liked so my favorite outfit was actually his favorite outfit. Which is what triggered my next move…

Put on leggings and a sweater instead.

Drive myself to Banana Republic to buy a few new outfits

Order some ice cream from my favorite non-dairy ice cream bar

Sit at the water fountain and people watch for about 20 minutes.

Pull the book out of my bag

Read while eating…