Member-only story
High Expectations Are OK
I was in a decade long relationship where my partner was toxic and narcissistic, but he was also my hype man, helper and number 1 fan.
I miss that. I miss that oh so much.
I’m realizing as I’m dating — especially with one man specifically, that my expectations are really high. I expect the man I’m with to love me, to not always pick fights with me, to not be a jerk when I express how I feel about something and to listen when I speak. Sometimes I even expect them to ask about my day. Is this so hard to ask?
Apparently.
But me having high expectations, isn’t because I want to be fawned over. I just want to feel important to you. If all you do is talk about yourself and seek validation for yourself, then where do I fall in the levels of importance. I don’t in this case. It’s a very one-sided you conversation, all the time. We spent an hour talking about your family and then when you were done instead of saying so how are things going blahblahblah, I expect, you to instead of being passively quiet, be aggressively just as passionate about my day as I was about yours.
3 months in, here’s how I know my expectations will not be met and this isn’t a relationship I should continue.
