Airing My Grievances, Literally.

Here’s something a little different TW: Death

I’ve experienced way too much death in my lifetime. More than the average person. I’m 29 and have been to over a dozen funerals. I have black funeral dresses prepped, ironed, and ready in the back of my closet. Nobody loses people like this in normal life. The amount of times I’ve used the “I need a few days off for a death in the family” request is absurd. And it’s been true every time.

See, I have a very large family. My mom is one of eleven. My dad one of three. her parents have at least 5 siblings each, his at least 4 each. I have 3 brothers, 36 first cousins, and a multitude of seconds, thirds, aunts, uncles, mom’s best friend we call auntie and so on and so forth. Most of us are in the same metro area in California and have been for at least 40 years, so also counting, neighbors, life long friends, significant others, baby daddy’s, the whole crew.

At this point in my life, I don’t cry for more than 10 minutes when someone dies. With the exception of my best friend/cousin last year. Now my response is close to none. I’m almost numb to the situation that is death. What’s wrong with me.

I have a cousin who I am extremely close to. We grew up very sister like, did everything together. Went to the same schools, hung out with the same group of friends, shopping, gossip, all of it.

Her mom is very sick and being taken off of life support this evening and as I write this tears fill my eyes but never leave and…